Summer time blues

Its so hard to see E have some much trouble with the summer. Thank goodness for ESY summer school. That was such a big help. It has ended and we have a full month off. I have planned things for him to do everyday, but it is not the same as having a routine. It seems to cause him physical pain when the schedule changes. He has woken up almost every morning asking to go to school on his iPad. I tell him it is summer and school is on vacation. Then I tell him the 3 things planned for the day, but that is usually met with a scream. He craves order and routine. I have taken him to the dr the past 2 Mondays to be sure there was nothing physically wrong with him. There is not, ears are clear... I was looking for a reason, something I could fix to make things easier for him. I just feel like everything is so hard for him. He struggles with communication daily, so anything on top of that is just almost too much for both of us. E lashes out at me because I am the one with him all the time. He looks to me to fix things and create order for him. After enduring some of his "lash outs" I have to admit my physical and emotional state take a beating. It is hard to find the strength and the patience at times. Luckily, he looks at me with those big blue eyes and signs "sorry" and comes over to hug me. I know he has trouble expressing himself and his expressions are often very inappropriate when he is upset. I am sure all parents want to fix things that are hard for their children. I am no different in that way for any other parent. It would just be so much easier if my life was just all my facebook pictures. I feel like facebook is my happiest memories, the ones I want to look at when I am sad or frustrated. I felt guilty for a while posting all those happy pictures and having such a hard time with E, but now I realize why they are so important. If I go scroll through my facebook wall, I will be smiling in no time. I think I will go look at it now...