Schorr family smile box for February

http://www.smilebox.com/playBlog/4e444d354d6a67314e7a4d3d0d0a&blogview=true

E photography 3

Yesterday E had to go to the dentist. He gets very nervous about the dentist and he walked the halls with daddy until it was his turn. He took photos of important things.

Fire extinguisher and fire alarm

Mail slot on the door to dentist office and view inside from the slot

Kellers photo hanging in hall

E's World in pictures 2

Today E was focused on leaf blowers. The very thing that scares him. There was a little ADT sign and Jeremiah the turtle from Bear in Big Blue House thrown in.

E the photographer

E has just recently realized he can take photos with his iPad. He takes lots of photos! I have to go in and delete them daily because we share an iCloud and he fills it up daily. A friend suggested I post some from each day before deleting them all to show what E found important on the day. E was home sick from school today and here's his first photography post!

Ceiling fan on high setting of course spinning very fast and loud all day long!

Basket Ball goal from his friend Ms Karen at CM. 🏀 E loves basketball.

This one is from the Internet! Not even sure how he found it. He loves bandaids and especially plaid bandaids. 

Another one from Internet. E loves this muppet. He thinks her name is Zoe because I told him that the first time he asked. I realize now that's not her name its Abby Cadabby! Oops!

His other favorite bandaid of the moment, "Zoe!"

My Mighty Post

I was once a published author!

http://themighty.com/?s=Kelly%20Schorr

An old FB Status

On 2/15/06...

 I put my sweet Porter to sleep in his own bed, in our own home, for the last time. It was the last night I would EVER have my entire family of 4 under one roof.

I didn't know it was the last night, I didn't know I only had 5 mths and 4 days with both of my boys together at home. I don't have one single picture of the 4 of us together because I was unhappy I still had all the "baby weight" on me from just having E. I spent most of those 5 mths 4 day worrying and wondering how I was ever going to be a good mother to both of my special boys. Frustrated at the chaos and unhappy with my appearance. I waisted precious time.

I am posting this, not so you will feel sad or bad for me, but so you will enjoy every "moment" you have with the ones you love. Enjoy the good, bad and ugly moments! Make memories, take pictures and enjoy every single second they are here with you. Don't waist time worrying about things that don't matter.

Collect all the "moments" you can while you are able to. I learned this lesson the hard way. 

Lastly, thank you to all my fb friends for your "kind hearted" comments and "likes" for the endless number of E photos and fb status  I post. Thank you for sharing "moments" with me!

Porter would be 17...

There is another bday coming to celebrate without our sweet Porter. The years keep going by and yet I seem to still feel the emptiness and loss of his presence. Time does not heal all wounds but you do learn to live with the hurt and loss. You get used to the feeling and sometimes there are even days that I don't still cry over our loss. I will never stop wanting to see him again or wish he was here still with us. I have read about other parents that lost a child. There are so many of us in this situation. Some lost a young or unborn child and others an older or maybe an adult child. It's not a group I ever thought I would be in but one I have come to greatly admire. Some parents have started foundations, charities and doing great things in the name of their lost child. I am not there yet and I may never be there. I do know that the death of my first born son changed me. I am not the same person I was before he died. I make it a point to slow down and enjoy moments with E. Many times I was too focused on everyday tasks like laundry or work. I would give anything to have just one moment of that wasted time back. I no longer seem to relax. Once something like this happens to you the realization that terrible things do happen sets in. You begin to understand we have little to no control over many things in this world. It's very difficult not to think that something so traumatic is going to happen again. As a defense I find myself constantly trying to prepare for the unknown. This makes the slowing down part very tough. I have to really work to relax and if you have to work at it, maybe it's not really relaxing. I cherish every moment I have with my family. I always did but now it's so much more special. I don't spend anytime on unimportant things. My most valued possession is my time. I only spend it with those I truly care about. ❤️