Ear issues

E has struggled with ear fluid since he was 2 years old. The most obvious solution is tubes. We will not do them because we already lost our first son, Porter, during a routine medical procedure. Our boys have different genetic make up due to a genetic issue between me and my husband. Porter and Emerson are exactly the same on paper. Too much #19 and missing some #14. They present this  unbalanced chromosomal abnormality very differently. E is pretty healthy having only ear fluid issues. Porter was born in distress and had oxygen loss at birth. Porter had low vision and a known condition called bilateral coloboma. Porter also had an abnormal heart that required open heart surgery at the age of 2. We almost lost Porter then as he had many known complications from such a procedure. We were told then Porter would need another procedure probably around age 10-11. It was a balloon valvuloplasty aortic stenosis. This was supposed to be a very safe procedure with no known risks. We took Porter to Children's medical center and on Feb 24, 2006, I held my son for the last time as he was disconnected from life support and died in my arms. Porter was 7 years old at that time. They are NO safe procedures. 
(Side note: We did tubes for Porter, and he had trouble coming out of anesthesia and needed oxygen. It was very scary)
We have seen allergists, ents, alternative medical doctors and finally came full circle back to our pediatrician to treat E's ear fluid with RX as they come up. I thought we had finally found an answer with the latest histamine blocker, but E had side effects and we had to take him off. After the rx was removed, the side affects disappeared and the fluid came back. With ear fluid comes some very scary behavior. E falls and has a very short temper. I realized after the past few days we may be dealing with ear fluid again and took him to our pediatrician. Sure enough there was fluid in his left ear. He is on rx and doing better. We are really stuck in a rough place. Any allergy seems to go straight to his ears. E is small for his size and his ears are not big enough yet to drain on their own. He clears between each infection and does not have them when the weather stays very hot or very cold. Unfortunately we live in Texas the allergy capital of the world. He will grow out of this at some point. Until then... We wait and treat. We also are looking for a new dr. Our current pediatrician is moving to Midloathian tomorrow! We may continue to drive to her if I cannot find another dr willing to treat ear fluid as often. She was Porters dr and E loves her so much. He loves the entire office staff! They love him too.  We also lost our fabulous speech person due to an HPISD private speech policy change and one of E's teachers is not returning. She is staying home with her little one. We are so happy for her but will miss her so much. Change is inevitable...