I am "that" mom

I used to see children when I worked in the mall throw some rip roaring fits! I remember thinking why is that parent just standing there? I would never do that... I taught school for 18 years and thought I would be so well trained to be a mom... I could never have been more wrong. I am that mom that stands next to her non verbal child while he has a rip roaring fit. I stand quietly and whisper to him to calm him down. I hold him to be sure he does not hurt himself or others. Never say never...
I was that mom today...
It took 2 teachers and me to get E to the car after school today. He ran from the teachers today in school and had several other behaviors resulting in losing his playground time after school. This was very upsetting to him and he let anyone around at dismissal know it. He ran behind the bushes, threw mud at me, screamed to the point of almost vomiting and other various attention grabbing behaviors. I wanted to find a rock to crawl under, but instead I cried quietly behind my sunglasses and helped E get into the car. He continued to scream and yell the entire ride home. When we stopped at a red light the car shook he was kicking and screaming so much. I did not dare look at the car next to me for fear of seeing a look I would never forget. When we got home, E was still in tears. I opened the back door to get him out and he signed sorry. I lifted my sunglasses and he saw me crying. He wanted me to put them back on. He did not want to see me cry. He hugged me tight and cried on my shoulder. He was so sad it broke my heart all over again. We went inside and sat down. E continued to cry and I told him it was ok. He could try again tomorrow to earn playground time after school.
Yes, I am that mom.